I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
