Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
