They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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