I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
