I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
