Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
