My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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