Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Life without a bra equals bliss.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
