Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
