operation harelip BJ is a go
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
