im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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