the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
