She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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