I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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