guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
my poor anus
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
