no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
