I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
