it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
