People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize