Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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