I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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