He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize