On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
