: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
