What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize