puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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