He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
