Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
