is your mom at the bar?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
