yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
