you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
