All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just fell off a train. Bad.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
