I am in a vortex of obligation.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
