11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
you never un-have a 4some
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
