We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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