God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
