Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
