He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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