Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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