Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
