I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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