Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize