ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
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