new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
