Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
