question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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