Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
