Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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