Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize