YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
