So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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