do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
