I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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