I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You took a bar mat shot.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
