when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Dicks are not precious.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize